Many people find it hard to form good personal relationship with others, leaving themselves with the feelings of loneliness and inadequacy. This does not have to be the case. God has given us a game plan in Galatians 5:22 for forming relationships of all types. He shows us that we do not have to go through life alone, and He encourage us to form relationships with people our own age. His plan for us was not to have us fight it out here on earth, on our own. He has given us fellow Christians to help us and to look out for us in a friendly relationship.
FRIENDSHIP
Some of our friends have been great for us; they build us up, tell us when we are doing something wrong, and look out for us. They keep us accountable for things we do and do not let us get away with excuses. Without them, we would be much worse than I am today. God wants this for everyone. The people you hand around are who you are going to end up being like, so choose your friends wisely.
Friends do not just fall out of the sky, though. They take a lot of work, and you have to be a friend before you can make a friend. The way this is done is by showing consideration, giving of your time when you could be doing something else, going out of your way for them, and by keeping in touch. Show that you really do care about them.
Friendship is a gradual thing. Do not expect to meet someone and become “best friends” instantly. This may happen every once in a while, but generally it is a process of give and take (with both sides feeling the other is giving as much as they themselves are).
FRIENDSHIP INGREDIENTS
Love is one of the key ingredients for a friendship. Love should be the number one ingredient in each relationship, whether it is with a parent, and older friend, or a person of the same sex. Love is where the relationship starts. It is an action, a choice to do something for someone else instead of for yourself. Praying for someone is an act of love and causes love toward that person. Without love, there would be no relationships.
Another key ingredient is forgiveness. Someone is always going to mess up, but if you are able to forgive and be forgiven, that is when the strongest bonds of friendship are formed.Just as the parable Jesus used, the one that is forgiven much, loves much, the one that is forgiven little, loves little (See Luke 7:47).
Peace is also important in a relationship with your peers. How much can you enjoy someone’s company if you are always fighting with him or her? You can’t. There has to be peace. Peace allows for good memories and keeps anger at a minimum. Yes, there will be times when there will be disagreements, and sometimes it is needed, but do it in love, not out of hate. Resolve your problems early, and don’t let the wounds fester. The longer anger is allowed to rule, the harder it is to get over.
No friendship would survive without a little patience. Patience leads through the tough times and helps fight frustration. Frustration can ruin a friendship very quickly. It can make easily escalate from frustration to anger in no time, but true friendship has no end to its patience.
Last but never least; a good friendship needs trust in large quantities. Without trust, it isn’t really a friendship. Once you know you can trust them, you can start building a stronger bond with them, but if that trust. Trust has to be earned, and when someone breaks that trust, it is hard to earn it back.
Friendship Pie Filling
Now that we have the basic ingredients for a good foundation for friendship, we need something to make it meaningful. Everyone needs meaningful relationships. They provide support for the hard times and give life more enjoyment. One way to make a more meaningful relationship is to share things. Let a person know who you really are, what you feel, why you feel; the internal workings that make you who you are.
This opening of the souls leaves a person vulnerable, and you need to be able to trust the person before you let them in. Choose your inner circle of friends very wisely. This is a critical step and should not be jumped into without first understanding the character of the people you are letting in. But once they have proved faithful, then you can choose to make them an accountability partner.
An accountability partner should be someone of the same sex that you trust more than almost anyone else. Someone you can tell the whole truth and not worry about being looked down upon. This relationship is very important in a Christian’s life. Accountability helps a Christian to choose the right things and encourages a better relationship with God. Every Christian can benefit from having a good accountability partner. Make a time to get together, share where each of you has struggled, ask what the other has read in their Bible, and share thoughts and things learned throughout the week.
If you found an accountability partner, you have found a true friend. Hold on to them and stick close to them. Friendships change as the two people move apart, but a person whom you trust enough to be an accountability partner is hard to find.
Friendships are not easy to make, but they are one of the greatest blessings God can give us in this life. A good friendship is definitely worth the time and effort it takes. Remember you get out of it, what you put into it. The more you put into a relationship, the more it is going to pay off.
"Friendship isn't how you forget, but how you forgive. Not how you listen, but how you understand. Not how you see, but how you feel. Not how you let go, but how you hold on.!"
This article is originally written by Craig Moore published by The ACTS Magazine of Church of God, Seventh Day.Idaho USA.
